Common Sense Laws

"Never try to be nice to a man with a tattoo on his face" was all one note said .... Goldwyn on Thinking Small: Why only twelve disciples? Go out and get thousands.
— Paul Dickson, from the Preface, The Official Explanations, pp. xi-xiii.

Balzer's Law. Life is what happens to you while you are making other plans.
— Robert Balzer, in Ibid., p. 8.

Banacek's Law. When the owl shows up at the mouse picnic, he's not there to enter the sock race.

Cooper's Law. All machines are simplifiers.
— Unknown, in Ibid., p. 40.

Cost Effectiveness, Three Important Points. ....(3) Just before being blasted off into orbit Astronaut Walter Shirra was asked by Dr. E.R. Annis, "What concerns you the most?" Shirra thought and then replied, "Every time I climb up on the couch [in the capsule] I say to myself, 'Just think, Wally, everything that makes this thing go was supplied by the lowest bidder.'"
— Ibid., p. 41.

Ertz's Observation on Immortality. Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
— Susan Ertz, in Ibid., p. 58.

Harum's theory of Fleas. A moderate amount of fleas is good for a dog; it keeps him from broodin' on bein' a dog.
— David Harum (title character of E.N. Westcott's 1898 novel), in Ibid., p.76.

Maslow's Maxim. If the only tool you have is a hammer, you treat everything like a nail.
— Abraham Maslow, in Ibid., p. 134.

Old Boy's Law. You don't learn anything new the second time you're kicked by a mule.
— Unknown, in Ibid., p. 168.

Peter's Principle of Success. Get up one time more than you're knocked down.
— Jimmie Peters, quoted in San Antonio Express News, 1-19-79), p. 177.

Ranger's Rule. We have done so much with so little for so long, that now we can do anything with nothing.
— U.S. troops in Vietnam, in Ibid., p.186.

Santayana's Philosophical Reminder. It is a great advantage for a system of philosophy to be substantially true.
— George Santayana, in Ibid., p. 198.

Westheimer's Discovery. A couple of months in the laboratory can frequently save a couple of hours in the library.
— Frank Westheimer (Harvard chemist), in Ibid., p. 232.